Reasons Why
by Stories4theSoul
Summary: A quick look into the minds of the Avengers to see what they were thinking during their separate movies and the Avengers.
1. Loki

Just to clarify...I own absolutely NOTHING! and if I did would I really be here and not rolling around in a pile of box office money?

I know that people probably have several theories as to why I did all that I have done. Why I attempted to obliterate Jotunheim. Why I allowed myself to fall off the edge of the Bifrost. Why I set my sights on Midgard and did my very best to destroy it.

I know that the favorite theory on Midgard will be that I am simply mad, and perhaps that is slightly true. I was once renowned for my intellect, my ability to take the time to craft the perfect plan, a plan that always assured me and my allies' victory. I thought that this was what I had done on Midgard. Indeed it seemed to be working in the beginning, and even toward the end I saw no need to be concerned. For the first time in centuries I was proven wrong, and one of my plans failed to see fruition in any capacity. Perhaps it is this "madness" that was my undoing, perhaps it was only a small part of my downfall, or perhaps I am not mad at all. It could be that my sanity or lack thereof, is simply a figment of their, and my, imagination. An easily conceived and believed reason as to why I became what I am now. I know Thor in particular would like to believe this, as madness could be cured.

Another theory that seems especially popular on Asgard is that I am so in love with the Chaos that I create that I cannot stop myself from causing destruction. I suppose it makes sense in their limited worldview with their inability to see beyond the obvious.

When the All-Father pronounced Thor as the God of Thunder the citizens took this as a sign of his favor. It was a promise that Thor would grow up to be as mighty as thunder, a wielder of the storms. This coupled with Mjolnir all but proclaimed Thor to be the invincible warrior that all of Asgard had predicted him to be. But I knew that the people of Asgard held a different belief of me. They saw me as the weaker son. The one incapable of defeating any true warrior face on, and so had to resort to the trickery and illusions of magic, something that was not acceptable for any self-respecting warrior. Yet when the All-Father prepared to proclaim me, I could not help but hope.

When I was younger I had often thought that Thor and I would always be together, always be a pair. And so after Thor was pronounced the god of thunder, one capable of taking down many enemies at once, I could not stop myself from hoping that I would be able to remain his equal. Perhaps the god of lightning, the one capable of taking down more selective targets, and always by his side. But that was not to be. When the All-Father proclaimed me to be the god of chaos and lies all of those hopes went away. Asgard saw this… less than favorable proclamation as a sign of disfavor and misfortune. In their eyes, where Thor now stood for strength and resilience, I stood for calamity and destruction. For many days I secluded myself, trying to see the All-Fathers reasoning behind this. And then it hit me. If Thor is capable of calling storms, then he is also just as capable of chasing them away. If he can be called the god of the storms he could just as easily be called the god of sunny skies. Likewise perhaps what the All-Father meant was that just as I was the god of destruction, chaos, and liese, I was also the god of truth, order, and balance.

I clung to that thought for years. I attempted to keep Asgard on that fine line between total peace and destruction. That fine line which allows civilization to move forward. And I did all of this to prove myself to the All-Father. To prove that he was right to trust me with such responsibility, to not disappoint him. But all that changed when I discovered my true heritage.

There was no way that Odin would ever believe that a Jotun, a monster in its purest form, could ever be able to do anything to help anyone. All we savages are good for is mindless killing and being the monster that lurks under every young child's bed. He wasn't trying to proclaim me as a force of good; he was alerting everyone to my true nature in the most obvious way he knew how.

And that is the true reason behind all this. I see no reason to pretend any further. The All-Father himself proclaimed me to be a creature of evil, the bringer of Ragnarock. And I would hate to disappoint him.


	2. Thor

I still own nothing (much to my disappointment)

This is all my fault. The near destruction of Jotunheim, the battle with the Chitauri, the loss of my brother. It is all my fault. I could have prevented it if I had but looked. If I had been there.

I should have opened my eyes sooner. Should have seen things for how they really were and not how I wished them to be. I should have seen how my brother was treated. He was not well liked among the people of Asgard; the people that I thought were **our **friends were really **my** friends. I should have seen that he needed me. But I did not see, or perhaps I did not care.

I was glad that the people of Asgard like me more. I thought it meant that they would follow me into battle willingly. I was glad that Sif and the Warriors Three preferred me to my brother. It made me feel superior, like a king. And I was so glad when my father proclaimed me to be his heir. I felt that nothing could stop me from being the king that would surpass all others. **I **cared only for myself and was blind to all else.

I ignored my brother. I cast aside his achievements and instead flaunted mine. If he were to master a spell and gain a sign of approval from father, well I could not mention how only weaklings and cowards used magic fast enough. And while basking in the laughter and attention of those that surrounded me, I missed the crushed look that flickered over his face.

All he ever wanted was for me to see him. To acknowledge him as my equal. But I did not notice this until it was too late.

He did not do anything wrong. Not at first anyway. He was right to disrupt the coronation. I was not ready and would have led Asgard to a meaningless and bloody war. He right to tell Odin where we were going saving all of our lives. Even if he did not mean for me to be banished, my banishment was necessary. I learned what it mean to be a true leader, how to value life, and most of all, I met Jane.

But then everything went to far. I don't fully know what occurred on Asgard while I was on Midgard. All I know is that my brother discovered his true heritage, and I was not there to comfort him. I was not there to reassure him that, no matter what, he would always be my brother, the one that I trust inexplicably, and the one that I love with all my heart.

I wasn't there. And now the brother that I knew is gone. Some believe that he is gone forever. Others believe that he never existed. But I know that one-day, he will return. And I can finally tell him that I finally see him for who he truly is, my equal.


End file.
